Messages settings help please

[DaveWT]

I am having trouble understanding my Messages settings.
I have an iPhone 11 on iOS 16.1.1 and an 2017 iMac on macOS 13.0.1
My wife has an iPhone 13 on iOS 16.1.1 and an M1 MacBook Air with macOS 13.0.1 - our experiences are quite different so I have been comparing settings on the two iPhones which led me down this gopher hole.

On my wife's iPhone, Settings > Messages > Send and Receive she has both her iPhone number and her AppleID (email) listed.
On my iPhone Settings > Messages > Send and Receive I have only my iPhone number listed. So I tap on "Send and Receive" and I see "Use your Apple ID for iMessage", So I tap on that and it offers "Use the Apple ID "old obsolete Apple ID listed (*)" for iMessage? with three options below: "Sign In", "Use Other Apple ID" and "Cancel"
* The Apple ID listed is an old Telus based Apple ID I used to have, but have changed that now and this is no longer in use. Typing any of the options below that including "Use Other Apple ID" just clears away the three options from display.

On my iMac if I go into Messages > Settings... > iMessage I see "You can be reached for messages at:" and it lists my iPhone number and the three variants of my email address (@icloud,com, @me.com and @mac.com) Messages I receive show up on my iPhone and iMac.

My wife had never been receiving Messages on her MacBook, only on her iPhone until recently and she feels the recent update to iOS 16 started that happening. And yet on her iPhone Settings > Messages > Text Message Forwarding the switch for "Susan's MacBook Air (Mac) is turned OFF ! So why is she suddenly getting these messages on her MacBook Air? I now see on her MacBook Messages > Settings... > iMessage it lists her iPhone number as well as her Apple ID so perhaps that over-rides the setting on the iPhone?

And finally, on my iPhone Settings > Messages the item "Text Message Forwarding" does not even appear and yet I am getting Messages on both my iPhone and iMac.

A lot to wade through, I know. I would appreciate any comment you feel up to.

Dave

 

[chas_m]

Text message forwarding has nothing to do (at all) with iCloud syncing of Messages, which might be where you're running into some confusion.

If you have iCloud syncing of Messages turned on for all devices, then all devices will see the same Messages. For messaging someone with an Apple device, you can use your phone number OR an email address to send them an iMessage. For people on "that other platform for phones," you really must send them a message using their phone number, which is why I generally recommend that you set your phone number as the default way to send messages -- that way they always go through regardless of what device the recipient has.

 

[DaveWT]

I ended up using the Apple Support app on my iPhone and had Apple call me back. This happened in the time it took me to walk from the bedroom to the kitchen. Amazing. I described the settings on my iPhone, especially the listing of an obsolete Telus email address as the AppleID. I talked to him for a few minutes and suddenly all my settings for Messages changed and now everything is how I would expect them to be. The Telus email address is gone and it now lists current info. I asked the Tech if he had reset something, and he said he had not, but was just looking up some support articles to send me. So although this issue has persisted for some time, why it chose that instant to reset itself is a mystery. I sent some test Messages to a recipient that I normally have some trouble reaching and all seems well.

 

[chas_m]

I suspect that a supervisor was listening in on the call, and recognize the issue and how to fix it.

Either that, or Messages finally figured out that you were calling in the big guns, and decided to reform itself on its own.